Just me and the durian
I think I am not easy to get along with. I just find it difficult to be chummy with people I hardly/never interact. I would most probably score a zero in the First-Impression-O-Meter because I don't talk much, I hardly smile, and I just keep quiet on first meeting. I come across as arrogant ALL THE TIME.
Some friends remark I don't smile enough. Some tell me the concavity of my lips make me look grumpy and unapproachable. Others say I look too cheeky if I smile excessively. So what should I do now - kill myself? Nah, just kidding.
I also have this tendency to avoid acquaintances on the streets unless absolutely necessary. I do likewise because I don't think I want to be put in an awkward moment with nothing to say but hi, how're you today? I hate to make small talks. Such actions will probably automatically put me into the likes of "cocky" and "attitude" by friendly people who probably love making small talks so much it has to be their hobby but at the end of the day, opinion is theirs and personality is mine. No amount of opinions being forced on me can change me.
I used to be the person who thinks the more people I can reach out to, the better, the merrier, the happier. The more people around me, the more happening my life will be. But it seems evident from past relationships in general that quantity can never override quality. So now I'm the guy who thinks less is more, feels the need to focus on those who really matter.
It's definitely not easy getting to know such a self-admitting seemingly conceited and standoffish individual (many have claimed I'm a difficult person to start with), but allow me to say something in my defence. Perhaps the analogy to the durian will fit me tremendously well. Some people like it so much (me inclusive), some people abhor the smell even from a distance and others probably have a love-hate relationship with it (ie hate it sometimes, love it other times). The durian comes with a hard, thorny shell, one which will prick you leaving you howl in pain and tears, but the treasures in the durian scream heavenly if perfectly appreciated.
Like the durian, I'm not perfect but it's assuring that at least I do have my good points.
Some friends remark I don't smile enough. Some tell me the concavity of my lips make me look grumpy and unapproachable. Others say I look too cheeky if I smile excessively. So what should I do now - kill myself? Nah, just kidding.
I also have this tendency to avoid acquaintances on the streets unless absolutely necessary. I do likewise because I don't think I want to be put in an awkward moment with nothing to say but hi, how're you today? I hate to make small talks. Such actions will probably automatically put me into the likes of "cocky" and "attitude" by friendly people who probably love making small talks so much it has to be their hobby but at the end of the day, opinion is theirs and personality is mine. No amount of opinions being forced on me can change me.
I used to be the person who thinks the more people I can reach out to, the better, the merrier, the happier. The more people around me, the more happening my life will be. But it seems evident from past relationships in general that quantity can never override quality. So now I'm the guy who thinks less is more, feels the need to focus on those who really matter.
It's definitely not easy getting to know such a self-admitting seemingly conceited and standoffish individual (many have claimed I'm a difficult person to start with), but allow me to say something in my defence. Perhaps the analogy to the durian will fit me tremendously well. Some people like it so much (me inclusive), some people abhor the smell even from a distance and others probably have a love-hate relationship with it (ie hate it sometimes, love it other times). The durian comes with a hard, thorny shell, one which will prick you leaving you howl in pain and tears, but the treasures in the durian scream heavenly if perfectly appreciated.
Like the durian, I'm not perfect but it's assuring that at least I do have my good points.
Labels: just me
posted by ; khsrL at
2:32 AM
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