Imma Master
Steps to getting a seat on the train after a long day at school.
(Only applicable to N.US students)
1) Get off from 96. Find out how long you need to wait for the train and the train after that from the display board. The ideal scenario would be that the East-bound train has arrived in the station by the time you get onto the escalator, and the next train is coming in approximately 2 minutes. In this situation, kill anyone who gets in your way to catch that next train, and that includes irritating flyer-distributors. RUN up the stairs to get to the platform if you need to. That is ZE train to catch!
2) If ideal scenario is not encountered, nehmind. *points to chest and head repeatedly* If the next train is coming in approximately four minutes, take your time to walk to the platform (after all, it is the end of the day and you should not tire your already over-exerted body further). Remember to greet flyer-distributors if you feel like - they'll be more than happy to pass you a stack of their flyers. Grrr.
3) Walk up to the platform. Walk towards where the first few cabins would stop at. According to a friend who takes NEL daily, commuters taking the East-bound train who want to catch the NEL would most likely congregate in these cabins, since the escalator to the exit in Outram Park is nearer here than the other end. So the train at this end may look full to the brim when it comes by, but by the time it reaches Outram Park, it'll be more vacant.
4) When the train stops, don't rush in like how some idiotic Singaporeans in Tampines would. Take your time and allow the passengers to alight first before boarding. This is train etiquette. Speaking of which, most Singaporeans (typically aunties) need to be brushed up on their train etiquette. Who cares if you need the seat more than others?
5) Look around you. Ask yourself this question: Are there any vacant seats available? If yes, then chiong lah, waiting for sky to drop? If the answer is no, then too bad for you. But that's not the end of the story. Look around you again. Appreciate the faces of the commuters sitting down. See if anyone's sleeping (and doing the head falling thing). Go to him and slap himself till he wakes up. Remember to ask him to wipe his drooling saliva too. Next, spot those who look like they'd alight soon. These people are called "potential seat-leavers". It takes a lot of experience to tell, and that... I can safely say Imma Master. This is the skill you acquire when you observe people more often.
6) The tell-tale sign of a potential seat-leaver are:
i) those who only sit with their butts resting on like, 1/8 of the seat,
ii) non-formal wear personnel
iii) old foggies,
iv) those who are not asleep
And the biggest of them all is v) Little India go-ers.
Those who take the train frequently, go and observe. This is ALWAYS true.
7) So if all else fails, no ideal scenario, no vacant seats etc, just go and stand in front of one of them. By Outram Park, you'll be guaranteed a seat, for sure.
8) Sit and do something productive like reading the notes and deleting your inbox messages on your mobile. I have three months of SMSes in inbox/sent folders undeleted. DO NOT FALL ASLEEP AND DO THE HEAD FALLING THING. Unless you want someone to slap you awake.
:p
(Only applicable to N.US students)
1) Get off from 96. Find out how long you need to wait for the train and the train after that from the display board. The ideal scenario would be that the East-bound train has arrived in the station by the time you get onto the escalator, and the next train is coming in approximately 2 minutes. In this situation, kill anyone who gets in your way to catch that next train, and that includes irritating flyer-distributors. RUN up the stairs to get to the platform if you need to. That is ZE train to catch!
2) If ideal scenario is not encountered, nehmind. *points to chest and head repeatedly* If the next train is coming in approximately four minutes, take your time to walk to the platform (after all, it is the end of the day and you should not tire your already over-exerted body further). Remember to greet flyer-distributors if you feel like - they'll be more than happy to pass you a stack of their flyers. Grrr.
3) Walk up to the platform. Walk towards where the first few cabins would stop at. According to a friend who takes NEL daily, commuters taking the East-bound train who want to catch the NEL would most likely congregate in these cabins, since the escalator to the exit in Outram Park is nearer here than the other end. So the train at this end may look full to the brim when it comes by, but by the time it reaches Outram Park, it'll be more vacant.
4) When the train stops, don't rush in like how some idiotic Singaporeans in Tampines would. Take your time and allow the passengers to alight first before boarding. This is train etiquette. Speaking of which, most Singaporeans (typically aunties) need to be brushed up on their train etiquette. Who cares if you need the seat more than others?
5) Look around you. Ask yourself this question: Are there any vacant seats available? If yes, then chiong lah, waiting for sky to drop? If the answer is no, then too bad for you. But that's not the end of the story. Look around you again. Appreciate the faces of the commuters sitting down. See if anyone's sleeping (and doing the head falling thing). Go to him and slap himself till he wakes up. Remember to ask him to wipe his drooling saliva too. Next, spot those who look like they'd alight soon. These people are called "potential seat-leavers". It takes a lot of experience to tell, and that... I can safely say Imma Master. This is the skill you acquire when you observe people more often.
6) The tell-tale sign of a potential seat-leaver are:
i) those who only sit with their butts resting on like, 1/8 of the seat,
ii) non-formal wear personnel
iii) old foggies,
iv) those who are not asleep
And the biggest of them all is v) Little India go-ers.
Those who take the train frequently, go and observe. This is ALWAYS true.
7) So if all else fails, no ideal scenario, no vacant seats etc, just go and stand in front of one of them. By Outram Park, you'll be guaranteed a seat, for sure.
8) Sit and do something productive like reading the notes and deleting your inbox messages on your mobile. I have three months of SMSes in inbox/sent folders undeleted. DO NOT FALL ASLEEP AND DO THE HEAD FALLING THING. Unless you want someone to slap you awake.
:p
Labels: funny, singsociety
posted by ; khsrL at
8:17 PM
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