Down Memory Lane

The next time you have nothing on for the weekend, use the time wisely. Pack your cupboards, clear your old clothes and clean up your drawers. You'll never know what you may find deep inside...

I found a bagful of picture albums, my Secondary 1-4 School Mags, JC 1-2 Year Books, Army Unit's Yearbook, tons of novels which I've read and want to read again, cards from a lot of people whom I've never expected would have done so, CD games which I used to play a lot back in Sec School, my primary school notebook (!!!), and many more.

Another cupboard of mine was full of traditional clothes which I've worn since young and I actually tried some of them on and they still fit me. I kept my JC uniform in my cupboard and I put it on today and they fit me too! Too bad I can't find my Sec school uniform.

Ah, nostalgia. All the memories, sweet and bitter, are coming back to me now.

Suayness

For the past few days, I've been quite anxious about my W2 Tax form which I was due to receive by 15 Feb but have not received it up till this moment as I am posting this.

The W2 Tax form is very important because it is the only way I can get my money back from the Federal Taxes I paid during the USA stint. All my friends, including those two, I went with have already received the forms except me.

I got a little hysterical and e-mailed our dear Sp33dw1ng about this. Instead of helping me locate the form (Program fee of SGD1393 does not include post-WAT issues is it?), they sorta got their way out by stating that it was not with them and that I should call my employer for more information.

Fine.

I e-mailed 6Flag,TGE but apparently replies take one week long to be typed out and sent to my e-mail. I shot another e-mail to See Eye Eee Eee asking for their help on this. Meanwhile, I also shot another e-mail to Sp33dw1ng a few days ago WHICH IS STILL NOT REPLIED AS OF NOW. The least you can do is reply, an apology, some form of help, assurance etc. It is terribly rude of them to ignore my e-mail and keep quiet about it.

I finally got a reply from See Eye Eee Eee asking me for my First Name, Family Name and DS2019 Number. And then I was searching for the DS2019 document and realised it's not with me already! Wooo. Nice one baby. Thank god I still have the photocopied one with me...

And so at 2246 hrs local time, See Eye Eee Eee sent me another e-mail and told me that my W2 form is still with them, in Portland, ME, USA.

I tell you, when I am lucky, I am DAMN lucky. But when I am suay, I will be DAMN FREAKING suay!!!

Dear Old Ms-Or-Biang-wear-white-pajamas-top-with-fugly-pink-skirt,

When something touched you from behind, it was my super expensive Calvin Klein bag which was bought in USA - it was not any of my appendeges. It is understandable if you look behind what touched you the first time round. It is not okay to turn behind, while waiting for MRT door to open, and shoot innocent people dirty looks several more times after the first look. What, is there a perv lurking behind you?

I did not have the intention to go near you. It was just that my uber expensive Calvin Klein sling bag was positioned in front of my crotch and that it was bulging cos of my uber expensive Nike 1 litre water bottle in it.

I do not deserve those dirty looks.

I don't know if it's my misfortune or yours, definitely mine I believe, but our fates decree that we meet a second time at the bus interchange! When the bus came, I quickly joined the queue for it, and I did not even realise you were DIRECTLY in front me in the queue until you turned and started the dirty looks again. Sorry auntie, even though I may be interested in SOME older women, I don't stalk them. You surely did not belong to that category.

As the queue was moving up the bus, you turned to watch me several times even when my bag was not touching any of your appendages - Heaven forbids. Auntie, I am seriously not interested in you.

In the bus, you rushed for a vacant seat and even though I really wanted to compete with you for the seat you wanted, I told myself why stoop to your level. I walked towards the rear of the bus and sat down, 2 seats behind you. AND THEN THE DIRTY LOOKS AGAIN.

For the third and final time, I'd rather do a cow than do you.

Truly,
Guy-in-white-GAP-tee

Blur me!

The other day I was given early release from work because I was instructed to deliver a report nearby. Once I was done, I rushed to Raffles Place MRT Station and got down to wait for the train westbound to Clementi for my evening classes.

Six minutes, bloody hell... Why does it take so long when I am the one waiting, I cursed as the seconds ticked slowly to the 60 position on my Guess watch.

After what seemed like forever, the train finally came. As the train slowed down to a final halt, I couldn't help but notice that the train was exceptionally empty and questioned myself why this was so. An Eastbound train due Westbound is usually crowded, if not, moderately occupied. But on this train there was hardly anyone, it was as sparse as the sparsely populated Taklamakan Desert (ahh, the powers of Wikipedia)! I found this phenomenon exceedingly weird, so I gazed upwards to see the East-West train route to see if there was any possibility of this ever happening.

And this was when I finally realized for the past 6 minutes of my life, I had been waiting for the North-bound train.

From my seat at the back of the bus, I could see an old man limping his way up as the bus came to a halt at the bus stop after the one I boarded. After what seemed like eternity, he got both his feet at the last step of the bus entrance and panted a while before moving to the rear.

Suddenly, an auntie sitting just next to the door at the entrance waved to the uncle frantically as though someone behind him was about to stab his guts out multiple times. The uncle turned to look at her, and saw what she was pointing at: The EZ link card in his right hand.

"UNCLE NI MEI YOU TIT TIT!"

(Uncle, you never TIT TIT!)

It's funny how these people can convert sounds into actions. It's funnier how the society can understand it!